Transliteration:( Arrijaalu qawwaamoona 'alan nisaaa'i bimaa fad dalallaahu ba'dahum 'alaa ba'dinw wa bimaaa anfaqoo min amwaalihim; fassaalihaatu qaanitaatun haafizaatul lil ghaibi bimaa hafizal laah; wallaatee takhaafoona nushoo zahunna fa 'izoohunna wahjuroohunna fil madaaji'i wadriboohunna fa in ata'nakum falaa tabghoo 'alaihinna sabeelaa; innallaaha kaana 'Aliyyan Kabeeraa )
"Men are in charge [131] of women because Allah has made one excel over the other [132] and because they spend from their wealth [133]. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard, in the husband's absence, what Allah commands them to guard [134]. As for those (wives) from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them [135], leave them alone in their beds [136], and (as a last resort) strike them lightly [137]. But if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great [138]."
From this, we learn:
The rights and responsibilities of men and women in marriage are not equal.
Men bear the full financial burden, including providing, housing, and Mehr (dowry).
Women have no financial obligation in return, which justifies the higher authority granted to men.
This is true justice, not inequality—it aligns with the roles assigned by divine wisdom.
Islam grants functional superiority to men in matters like:
Prophethood,
Religious leadership (Imamat),
Judiciary,
Azaan and Khutbah, etc.
These are duties that cannot be performed while maintaining purdah, which is mandatory for women.
However:
This does not mean every man is superior to every woman.
Great women like Sayyida Aisha and Sayyida Fatima (رضي الله عنهما) are far superior to many men.
Gender defines role, not individual worth.
A man's superiority stems from two factors:
Personal: Being born male.
Incidental: Providing financial support.
Even if a man fails to provide, he still retains functional superiority, though not moral superiority.
This verse lays out essential marital duties:
Men must provide financial support to their wives.
Women must manage household responsibilities.
A wife must respect and honor her husband,
Avoiding calling him by name,
Not burdening him with housework.
The husband earns, and the wife spends—
This division invites divine grace in the home.
Working women are not sinful, but employment is not obligatory for them under Islamic law.
If a wife becomes disobedient, the husband must:
Advise her by explaining the worldly and spiritual harms of such behavior.
Educate and guide her with kindness and religious instruction.
If advice fails:
The husband should sleep apart from her,
Avoid intimacy, conversation, and interaction,
Creating emotional space to prompt reflection.
This method often proves effective and dignified.
As a last resort, if other steps fail:
A light, non-injurious strike is permitted, purely symbolic, to instill reform.
From this, we learn:
Authority figures may discipline subordinates when needed,
just as a teacher to student, or father to son.
However:
It must never be abusive,
And retaliation is not permitted from subordinate to superior (e.g., wife to husband).
If the wife returns to obedience and good conduct, then:
The husband must not pursue further grievances,
Nor should he be harsh or vengeful.
Just as Allah forgives, the husband should also forgive, showing compassion and dignity in leadership.
34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are Qanitat, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them, and abandon them in their beds, and beat them, but if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.) Allah said,
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,) meaning, the man is responsible for the woman, and he is her maintainer, caretaker and leader who disciplines her if she deviates.
(because Allah has made one of them to excel the other,) meaning, because men excel over women and are better than them for certain tasks. This is why prophethood was exclusive of men, as well as other important positions of leadership. The Prophet said,
(People who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success.) Al-Bukhari recorded this Hadith. Such is the case with appointing women as judges or on other positions of leadership.
(and because they spend from their means.) meaning the dowry, expenditures and various expenses that Allah ordained in His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger for men to spend on women. For these reasons it is suitable that he is appointed her maintainer, just as Allah said,
(But men have a degree (of responsibility) over them).
Allah said,
(Therefore, the righteous) women,
(are Qanitat), obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated.
(and guard in the husband’s absence) As-Suddi and others said that it means she protects her honor and her husband’s property when he is absent, and Allah’s statement,
(what Allah orders them to guard.) means, the protected ﴿husband﴾ is the one whom Allah protects. Ibn Jarir recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
(The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.) Then, the Messenger of Allah recited the Ayah,
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, ) until its end. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, ‘Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.’)
Allah said,
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct,) meaning, the woman from whom you see ill conduct with her husband, such as when she acts as if she is above her husband, disobeys him, ignores him, dislikes him, and so forth. When these signs appear in a woman, her husband should advise her and remind her of Allah’s torment if she disobeys him. Indeed, Allah ordered the wife to obey her husband and prohibited her from disobeying him, because of the enormity of his rights and all that he does for her. The Messenger of Allah said,
(If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.) Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
(If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) Muslim recorded it with the wording,
(If the wife goes to sleep while ignoring her husband’s bed, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) This is why Allah said,
(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first)). Allah’s statement,
(abandon them in their beds,) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said “The abandonment refers to not having intercourse with her, to lie on her bed with his back to her.” Several others said similarly. As-Suddi, Ad-Dahhak, `Ikrimah, and Ibn `Abbas, in another narration, added, “Not to speak with her or talk to her.” The Sunan and Musnad compilers recorded that Mu`awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri said, “O Allah’s Messenger! What is the right that the wife of one of us has on him” The Prophet said,
(To feed her when you eat, cloth her when you buy clothes for yourself, refrain from striking her face or cursing her, and to not abandon her, except in the house.) Allah’s statement,
(beat them) means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. Muslim recorded that Jabir said that during the Farewell Hajj, the Prophet said;
(Fear Allah regarding women, for they are your assistants. You have the right on them that they do not allow any person whom you dislike to step on your mat. However, if they do that, you are allowed to discipline them lightly. They have a right on you that you provide them with their provision and clothes, in a reasonable manner.) Ibn `Abbas and several others said that the Ayah refers to a beating that is not violent. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it means, a beating that is not severe.
Allah said,
(but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance),) meaning, when the wife obeys her husband in all that Allah has allowed, then no means of annoyance from the husband are allowed against his wife. Therefore, in this case, the husband does not have the right to beat her or shun her bed. Allah’s statement,
(Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.) reminds men that if they transgress against their wives without justification, then Allah, the Ever Most High, Most Great, is their Protector, and He will exert revenge on those who transgress against their wives and deal with them unjustly.
(4:34) Men are the protec-tors and maintainers of women[56] because Allah has made one of them excel over the other,[57] and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah’s protection.[58] As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them.[59] Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.
56. A qawwam or qayyim is a person responsible for administering and supervising the affairs of either an individual or an organization, for protecting and safeguarding them and taking care of their needs.
57. The verb used here – a derivative of the root fdl – is not used to mean that some people have been invested with superior honour and dignity. Rather it means that God has endowed one of the sexes (i.e. the male sex) with certain qualities which He has not endowed the other sex with, at least not to an equal extent. Thus it is the male who is qualified to function as head of the family. The female has been so constituted that she should live under his care and protection.
58. It is reported in a tradition from the Prophet (peace be on him) that he said: ‘The best wife is she who, if you look at her, will please you; who, if you bid her to do something, will obey; and who will safeguard herself and your property in your absence.’ (Cited by Ibn Kathir, and reported by Tabari and Ibn Abi Hatim. See Mukhtasar Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 3 vols., ed. Muhammad ‘All al-Sabuni, 7th edition, Beirut, 1402 A.H./1981 C.E.; vol. 1, p. 385 and n. 1 – Ed.) This tradition contains the best explanation of the above verse. It should be borne in mind, however, that obedience to God has priority over a woman’s duty to obey her husband. If a woman’s husband either asks her to disobey God or prevents her from performing a duty imposed upon her by God, she should refuse to carry out his command. Obedience to her husband in this case would be a sin. However, were the husband to prevent is wife from performing either supererogatory Prayer or Fasting – as distinct from the obligatory ones – she should obey him, for such acts would not be accepted by God if performed by a woman in defiance of her husband’s wish. (See Abu Da’ud, ‘Sawm’, 73; Ibn Majah, ‘Siyam’, 53 – Ed.)
59. This does not mean that a man should resort to these three measures all at once, but that they may be employed if a wife adopts an attitude of obstinate defiance. So far as the actual application of these measures is concerned, there should, naturally, be some correspondence between the fault and the punishment that is administered. Moreover, it is obvious that wherever a light touch can prove effective.one should not resort to sterner measures. Whenever the Prophet (peace be on him) permitted a man to administer corporal punishment to his wife, he did so with reluctance, and continued to express his distaste for it. And even in cases where it is necessary, the Prophet (peace be on him) directed men not to hit across the face, nor to beat severely nor to use anything that might leave marks on the body. (See Ibn Majah, ‘Nikah’, 3 – Ed.)
[182]- This applies primarily to the husband-wife relationship. [183]- i.e., their husbands' property and their own chastity. [184]- i.e., major rebellion or refusal of basic religious obligations. [185]- This final disciplinary measure is more psychological than physical. It may be resorted to only after failure of the first two measures and when it is expected to amend the situation and prevent family breakup; otherwise, it is not acceptable. The Prophet ﷺ (who never struck a woman or a servant) additionally stipulated that it must not be severe or damaging and that the face be avoided.
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