Transliteration:( Wa in khiftum shiqaaqa baini himaa fab'asoo haka mam min ahlihee wa hakamam min ahlihaa; iny-yureedaaa islaah ai-yuwaffiqil laahu bainahumaa; innal laaha kaana 'Aleeman Khabeeraa )
"And if you fear a rift between them (the husband and the wife) [139], then appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring harmony between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware [140]."
If there is a fear of ongoing conflict or emotional breakdown between husband and wife:
The community or family elders should intervene by appointing:
One representative from the husband’s side, and
One from the wife’s side.
These arbiters must be:
Trustworthy,
Wise, and
Sincerely interested in reconciliation, not blame or division.
This method avoids hasty divorce and promotes family unity through peaceful mediation.
The key to success is mutual willingness:
If both parties and their arbiters genuinely desire reconciliation,
Then Allah will bring about unity and restore peace between them.
Allah is All-Knowing of the hearts and fully aware of each party’s intentions and efforts.
Hence:
Divine help is promised when the goal is sincere harmony,
Not when people approach arbitration with bias, ego, or ulterior motives.
35. If you fear a breach between the two, appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her’s; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.
Allah first mentioned the case of rebellion on the part of the wife. He then mentioned the case of estrangement and alienation between the two spouses. Allah said,
(If you fear a breach between the two, appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family). The Fuqaha’ (scholars of Fiqh) say that when estrangement occurs between the husband and wife, the judge refers them to a trusted person who examines their case in order to stop any wrongs commited between them. If the matter continues or worsens, the judge sends a trustworthy person from the woman’s family and a trustworthy person from the man’s family to meet with them and examine their case to determine whether it is best for them to part or to remain together. Allah gives preference to staying together, and this is why Allah said,
(if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation.) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said, “Allah commands that a righteous man from the husband’s side of the family and the wife’s side of the family are appointed, so that they find out who among the spouses is in the wrong. If the man is in the wrong, they prevent him from his wife, and he pays some restitution. If the wife is in the wrong, she remains with her husband, and he does not pay any restitution. If the arbitrators decide that the marriage should remain intact or be dissolved, then their decision is upheld. If they decide that the marriage remains intact, but one of the spouses disagrees while the other agrees, and one of them dies, then the one who agreed inherits from the other, while the spouse who did not agree does not inherit from the spouse who agreed.” This was collected by Ibn Abi Hatim and Ibn Jarir. Shaykh Abu `Umar bin `Abdul-Barr said, “The scholars agree that when the two arbitrators disagree, then the opinion that dissolves the marriage will not be adopted. They also agree that the decision of the arbitrators is binding, even if the two spouses did not appoint them as agents. This is the case if it is decided that they should stay together, but they disagree whether it is binding or not when they decide for separation.” Then he mentioned that the majority holds the view that the decision is still binding, even if they did not appoint them to make any decision.
(4:35) If you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both want to set things right,[60] Allah will bring about reconciliation between them. Allah knows all, is well aware of everything.[61]
60. The statement: ‘if they both want to set things right’, may be interpreted as referring either to the mediators or to the spouses concerned. Every dispute can be resolved providing the parties concerned desire reconciliation, and the mediators too are keen to remove the misunderstandings between them and to bring them together.
61. Whenever the relationship between a husband and a wife starts to break down, an attempt should first be made to resolve the dispute at the family level, before it is aggravated and leads to the disruption of the matrimonial tie. The procedure to be followed is that two persons, one on behalf of each family, should be nominated to look into the matter together and devise means whereby the misunderstanding between the spouses may be brought to an end. Who should nominate these mediators? God has not specified this so as to allow people full freedom to choose the most convenient arrangement. The parties would be free, for instance, to decide that the mediators be nominated either by the spouses themselves or by the elders of their respective families. If the dispute is brought before the court, the latter also has the right to nominate mediators, representing the families of both parties, before referring the matter for judicial verdict.
There is disagreement among Muslim jurists about the extent of the mediators’ authority. The Hanafi and Shafi’i schools are of the opinion that they normally have no authority to issue a binding verdict. All they may do is to recommend the solution they advocate, whereafter the spouses have the right either to accept or to reject it. The exception is if the spouses have nominated the mediators to act on their behalf in regard to either talaq or khul’: they will then be bound by their verdict. This is the opinion of the Hanafi and Shafi’i schools. Another group of jurists argues that the authority of the mediators is confined to deciding how the spouses should reconcile their differences, and does not extend to the annulment of marriage. This is the opinion of Hasan al-Basri and Qatadah, among others. Yet another group holds the opinion that the mediators have full authority both in respect of reconciliation and annulment of marriage. This is the opinion of Ibn ‘Abbas, Sa’id b. Jubayr, Ibrahim al-Nakha’i, al-Sha’bi, Muhammad b. Sinn and several other authorities. The precedents which have come down from early Islam, however, are the judgements of ‘Uthman and ‘Ali. These indicate that they conferred upon the mediators the authority to issue judgements binding on both parties. When the dispute between ‘Aqil b. Abi Talib and his wife Fatimah b. ‘Utbah b. Rabi’ah came up for the judgement of ‘Uthman, he nominated Ibn ‘Abbas and Mu’awiyah b. Abi Sufyan from the families of the husband and the wife respectively. He also told them that if they thought that separation was preferable, they should declare the marriage annulled. In a similar dispute Ali nominated mediators and authorized them either to bring about reconciliation or annul the marriage, whichever they considered appropriate. This shows that the mediators do not have judicial authority as such. (See the commentaries of Ibn Kathir and Jassas on this verse -Ed.) Such authority, however, may be conferred upon them by the courts, in which case their decision will have the force of a judicial verdict.
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